


take a breath / jump over the side

by ClementineKitten



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: (only a little though), 39 pages...., Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Happy New Year!, M/M, New Years, Post DR3, Post Game, i wont ever be, ibuki mioda appreciation squad, it's almost 2019 and i am not over this ship, komahina is canon in my heart, lowkey self indulgent, mentions of death/trauma, not as dark/angsty as you may think, or this game, somewhat of a character study, this is gay, which hamsters did gundham have...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 19:42:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17250209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClementineKitten/pseuds/ClementineKitten
Summary: "What if you should decide / That you don't want me there by your side?" -Coldplay, What IfAfter waking up from the NWP, there's a lot that must be done, and a lot to be created.Here are some fragments of Hinata and Komaeda falling together.





	take a breath / jump over the side

**Author's Note:**

> this fic forced me to scrounge the depths of the internet and compile an honourifics masterpost for this game. that being said, it may not be entirely accurate. but who am i to say? i just wanted to write komahina.  
> takes place post dr3, because although i have my gripes with it, i really just want everyone to be happy please. (also i kind of forgot komaeda's illness, it's implied but you know what? it's chill)  
> enjoy my bullshit <3  
> (it's probably a little ooc at points, komaeda is HARD and it's been a long time since i've written him)

He does his best not to fixate on the heat that he could feel emanating from the other’s hand, but it was hard not to do.

After all, it had been days (days, he thinks, with belated amusement; it seemed like years, at the least) since he had last felt any type of body heat coming from himself or anyone else. So, it was a feeling that he savoured, no matter how quickly it passed by.

And yet, it was gone in an instant. Like a flame that flickered out too soon, his eyes flick up from their hands to the other’s face, and he gives him a soft smile. “Hinata-kun,” he says quietly. The man blinks his heterochromatic eyes, and Komaeda finds himself focusing on the way his brown hair catches the light from the sun behind them.

“What is it?” he mumbles, holding the skewer that he was handed near his lips.

“Just, ah… Thank you?” A lilt of confusion accentuates Komaeda’s words. “We haven’t had a lot of time amongst ourselves since waking up. To be fair, it was with good reason, but…” As he trails off, he gestures to the ocean that the boat was gently bobbing along in. “I’m glad that you woke me up. That you judged me worthy of waking up… After all, it was mainly your doing, correct?”

“It’s not like the others didn’t help,” Hinata insists. Taking a slow bite of his meat skewer, Komaeda hums.

“Yes, well… I didn’t see any of them in my fragmented psyche,” he points out with a smile. Hinata’s brows pull together in indignance.

“It’s whatever.” Looking near bashful, Hinata waves his hand dismissively. He chews his food thoughtfully, then his expression grows serious. “As soon as the five of us woke up, we knew what we had to do.” He turns to look out at the sea, but there’s hesitance in his minute movements, a type of quiet resignation tightening his jaw. “It would piss me off if after everything we did, Enoshima won. She ruined our lives, and all we could do was ruin hers, and fix ours. She’s dead, but her legacy is alive, and I don’t think any of us will be satisfied until we’ve destroyed every last bit of it, including our former selves.” The steely glint in his eyes is mesmerizing. “We worked our asses off trying to bring everyone back. So, be happy.”

“Whatever did I do to suggest I wasn’t?” When Hinata’s determined glare finds his own, Komaeda feels something stir in the pit of his stomach. “You’re admirable, Hinata-kun, for having the drive to do something so otherworldly as bring your friends back from the dead.”

“There was nothing else to do except move forward. This was how we started.” Hinata looks around, and his angular features soften. Mioda is jumping up and down, holding Tsumiki’s hands as she speaks in a loud and emphatic tone, much to the other girl’s dismay. Koizumi is being pulled along by the hand, Saionji giggling childishly, her finger pointing up at the crashing waves and the small islands. Tanaka and Sonia are resting in the shade, and Komaeda can see a rapt, content smile gracing the princess’s face as she watches Tanaka speak. All of the ship-goers seem to be, for once, at peace with themselves, and everyone else. It’s truly a scene of serenity, after _everything_ , everything that went wrong, they finally had a light. A light in the dark, piercing the shadows that encroached upon them and everything they had fought for, died for, and risked their lives for.

Finally, _finally_ , it was okay.

“Hinata-kun, doesn’t this seem… Too happy?” There’s a note of fear in Komaeda’s voice. Hinata regards him warily; of course he remembers the behaviour of the boy in the game. “We die, we wake up, we defeat despair. I’d like to be content with it, but it doesn’t seem realistic.” He sighs, discomfort and hatred building inside his gut for having the _audacity_ to suggest that what Hinata and the others worked so hard for was just a farce, that it was hopeless from the start, oh, he should have just kept quiet instead of bothering Hinata with--

“Komaeda, shut up.” There’s fire, but no bite. “I know the world you lived in was filled with equivalent exchanges, but it doesn’t have to be like that. We can be happy.” He lets out a bitter, dry chuckle. “We made it for ourselves.” After a moment’s silence, he continues. “But I see what you’re saying.”

“You and I were always quite similar… If that’s okay to say,” Komaeda puts in. He expects Hinata to look at him with disgust, but there’s nothing in his gaze except for what Komaeda can only describe as contemplation.

In spite of himself, Komaeda feels a flush begin to grow on his cheeks. “Your intense staring is making me blush, Hinata-kun,” he jokes. It was an attempt to disperse this tense atmosphere that he had created, but Hinata’s expression does not shift. His face tightens.

“Komaeda.” It’s only his name, but when Hinata says it, it feels like it means more. He’s saying a thousand things, trying to convey a thousand meanings through the vestiges of wistfulness upon his face. It sends a tremor through Komaeda’s spine, as they share a heavy look between them. Hinata breathes in, and Komaeda supposes it may be time to address the very prominent elephant in the room.

“You did a lot of shit.” The way with which he says it almost makes Komaeda laugh; it’s so blunt, it’s so _Hinata-kun_. “A lot of horrible, despicable shit.” He drags out a sigh, looking past Komaeda. “But, even so, I…

“If you’re willing to start again, then I am, too. Start, and not pull… that shit.” He makes a vague gesture with his hand. “Nanami taught me to not waste life, to live for what you want to protect, and what you need to do.” It was odd; Komaeda rarely saw this side of Hinata within the program. He was always so terse and sarcastic, but seeing such a gentle, sad expression playing upon his face was almost comforting, in a way. He was multi-faceted, of course he was, and Komaeda was, against all odds, alive and seeing it play out in real time. “And I’m thankful to her for showing me that. I’ll never forget it. And if she saw how I was flip-flopping about, she’d tell me to stop being indecisive and get my ass moving.” He smiles. “So.” He holds out a hand toward Komaeda, who looks back at him with surprise reflected in his eyes. “Are you ready?”

Some form of shyness overtakes Komaeda, which is strange for a man who spent his last conscious moments setting up a brutal murder. He slides his non-android hand into Hinata’s, and they meet in a firm handshake. It’s small, but it’s solidifying their resolve, and their desire to move forward. Komaeda wants to hold onto this moment for as long as he can, take a picture in his mind and frame it in his memories. This wasn’t something that he figured he would ever have the chance to do, and yet here he was, holding hands with Hinata as the island breeze tousled their hair. “If Hinata-kun is asking me, there’s no way I can refuse,” Komaeda assures him, a grin of his own sliding onto his lips.

Each moment they spend touching is both excruciatingly long and agonizingly short. There’s something about Hinata’s firm grasp on his hand that, for a brief sliver of time, made the raging storm of thoughts inside still.

Then it’s over, and both of their hands fall to their side. The palm of Komaeda’s hand is uncomfortably cold.

Hinata casts a glance toward where Owari and Mitarai are engaged in a battle of who can eat food the fastest, with Hanamura supplying it. Souda, Kuzuryuu, and Pekoyama, who are all sat on a bench together, are watching in awe, a certain type of tenderness to Kuzuryuu’s usually taut face. Komaeda’s gaze is drawn to the man’s eye, or lack thereof, rather. His eyes turn to his own hand, which is reflecting the sun’s light, and quietly _whirrs_ when he moves it too fast. He looks to Hinata’s eyes, to the way Tsumiki grimaces and holds her stomach, the burn marks adorning Souda’s hands and fingertips, the noticeable boniness of Owari’s legs and arms… They’re all reminders. Scars that may appear to be skin deep, but cut straight to the heart. The physicality of them will heal with time, or become all the more irrelevant as they continue on. But the memories, and the thoughts, and the _feelings_ would not release their chokehold so easily.

They would not be able to forget what they had done.

He can tell that’s what Hinata is thinking, too. He’s watching Owari as she scarfs down more food than is humanly possible with fondness in his eyes. “We can’t change the past, but we can change the future,” he says, as if sensing Komaeda’s misgivings. “Nanami helped me realize that. And I’m not done creating ours.” He smiles, and takes a bite of his kebab.

Komaeda tilts his head towards the food eating competition, where Nidai is rubbing Owari’s shoulders like he’s prepping her for a wrestling match. “Should we join them?”

A faint trace of apprehension touches Hinata’s face. “Uh, I don’t know if I really want to be pulled into whatever’s going on with them.” It looks like Mioda’s joined in with the fun, too, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

“Ah, I see, Hinata-kun… You’d rather comfort someone like me than celebrate with your friends?” Komaeda asks, eyebrows raised. Hinata looks at him sharply, then shakes his head in exasperation.

“Do you really gotta keep doing that?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You don’t have to. It’s not you _specifically_. We’re gonna move forward, as… friends.”

Komaeda is quiet afterwards, thinking to himself. Hinata declaring them as friends was unprecedented, but not unwelcome. It’s strange for him, in all honesty, and the idea makes his heart stir unnaturally. It was… a step forward. One in the right direction.

“Well, if we’re friends…” It feels odd rolling off his tongue. “I think I can go along with that.” He looks towards the others again. “But, ah, Hinata-kun… We may want to interfere.” He indicates the table of food, which has begun to sway as they passed over a particularly large wave, with Nidai attempting to hold it steady.

“Whoa, hey!” Surprise overtakes Hinata’s face, and Komaeda stifles a chuckle as he starts off running towards the table. He watches the back of his head with amusement as he panics, hands gripping the edge of the table. He tosses his head back. “Komaeda, hurry up and help me!” he barks, jolting the man out of his thoughts.

“Coming,” he calls back, and he jogs over to them.

He took a step towards Hinata, a step towards the future.

One at a time.

-:*:-

“Hinata-kun, there you are!” A bright and cheery voice startles Hinata out of wiping the table at the restaurant. He turns to see a familiar face.

“Hey, Naegi.” The man smiles at Hinata in response, and slides into one of the chairs around the table. He gestures for Hinata to do the same.

“How have things been going on the island?” he asks, his eyes gleaming with something akin to excitement. It had been a few weeks since he had been able to make time to visit the island himself, what with his new duties as a headmaster. Hinata tips his head from side to side.

“Well, you can see for yourself, I’m sure,” Hinata replies simply. Looking sheepish, Naegi rubs the back of his neck.

“Ha, I suppose you’re right,” he says, embarrassed. “It looks like everyone is doing well. I’m glad!”

“As well as we can be,” Hinata muses. Naegi shifts in his seat, his shifty eyes and upturned eyebrows betraying his smile. He twiddles his thumbs anxiously.

“It feels like years, but it hasn’t been that long,” he points out. “I know it’s… difficult. And unfair. Believe me, I know!” He leans forward in his chair, ever so slightly. “But you can’t give into that helplessness. I mean, that’s a given, but…” He looks off to the side as he fumbles with his words. “I believe you guys have what it takes to keep on living.”

“How are you the headmaster of a school if you can’t even manage to talk like this?” Hinata asks. He doesn’t mean for it to come out as rude as it probably did, and Naegi scratches his head. “How is the school?”

Naegi brightens. “It’s going really well.” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “In all honesty, Kirigiri-san should probably be the headmaster instead of me, it seems like she always one step ahead of me, y’know?”

“Mhm,” Hinata responds. For some reason, the way Naegi talks… reminds him a lot of Komaeda, what with the way he just resigned to putting himself down. The two men almost look like they could be siblings, in Hinata’s opinion.

_Why am I thinking of him, now? I’m talking to Naegi._ He shakes his head.

“We’re doing our part to bring the world back to prosperity, I think. There are a lot more survivors than we believed! A lot more kids, too. Komaru and Fukawa-san go out scouting for people who are still alive and the Future Foundation helps them out,” Naegi tells him. “There’s this one student we found, that reminds me a lot of one of my old friends… She’s shy, but she’s a genius with codebreaking. Seeing such talented youth gives me hope for the future.”

“Now you sound like a headmaster.” Hinata crosses his ankles under the table and leans backwards.

“E-eh? You think so?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

The two share a short laugh. Naegi looks tired, Hinata realizes. His face is creased with stress lines, and there’s a noticeable dark shadow taking up residence under his eyes. Even despite that, his green eyes are hardened and sparkling with determination, and laugh lines are imprinted into cheeks. When Hinata looks at him, he sees not _just_ a headmaster, not _just_ a member of the Future Foundation, but a man who has been broken and mended so many times that even though the cracks are there, it was nothing that marred his strength.

“Oh, Naegi-kun. Am I interrupting something?”

Komaeda pops his head into the room, surprise lighting his gaze as he holds the door frame. Hinata smiles, and Naegi reflects it.

“Not at all, Komaeda-kun! How are you?” he asks. Komaeda slowly walks over to stand by Hinata’s side, arms crossed over his chest.

“It’s an honour, as always, Naegi-kun.” Komaeda dips his head respectfully, causing the other to redden. “I’m doing fine. Really, I should be asking you how Hope’s Peak is.” He folds a hand out of his arm, and holds it out towards Naegi.

“Good. Great, even. I was just telling Hinata-kun about it!” Naegi’s fluster at the praise is clear. “Once you guys are ready, I think it would be good for all of you on the island to visit. Maybe help with faculty? Of course, if you guys are okay with it. Togami-kun would never let me hear the end of it if I just carted you guys over without telling him.” He scratches the side of his face awkwardly.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Naegi-kun!” Komaeda claps his hands together.

“We’re still working here on the island,” Hinata opposes. Naegi nods slightly.

“I get it.” He stands from his seat and adjusts his tie. “Just a thought. I mean, the island set-up isn’t the most convenient, and we’d like to have you all based on mainland at some point. Anyways, I was gonna go visit everyone else-- Any idea where they might be?”

“Floating around,” Hinata says unhelpfully.

Komaeda laughs softly and places a hand on the back of the chair that Hinata’s sitting in-- their bodies barely graze each other. “I saw Mioda-san, Saionji-san, and Tsumiki-san on the beach on my way here. I think that Owari-san and Nidai-kun are off sparring somewhere.” He waves his metal hand.

“Oh, cool. Thanks, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi heads for the exit to the restaurant. “Bye, you two! I think that Kirigiri-san is going to be doing the check-up, next.” The pair can hear his footsteps creaking on the wooden staircase as he leaves.

“Check-up… It’s like we’re animals,” Komaeda says quietly.

“They’re being cautious,” Hinata sighs. “Why are you here?”

Komaeda blinks down at him, looking perplexed. “Uh, we live here?”

“Oh. Right.” Komaeda smiles softly at his bluntness.

“Actually, I’m here at Souda-kun’s behest. He asked if I had seen you, because he had something to tell you. Unfortunately, I hadn’t, but fortunately, I have now,” he admits.

_Unfortunately?_ “Souda asked you?” Hinata inquires, unable to hide the disbelief in his voice.

“Strange for him, right? Maybe he’s starting to tolerate me… Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.” Hinata’s mouth is pulled into a frown at Komaeda’s self-deprecation.

“Stop saying things like that. Where’s Souda?” he asks in a firm tone.

“I don’t know. Still wandering around?” Hinata arches an eyebrow, and Komaeda lifts his hands in mercy. “Don’t get hasty. Maybe he went back to his cabin.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Hinata pushes out his chair and stands up, preparing to leave the room. As he walks away, Komaeda remains in place, as if rooted to the ground. He slides his hands into the pockets of his jacket, watching Hinata with an even gaze. “Are you coming or not?” Hinata says, one foot resting upon the top stair.

“Come? With you?” Komaeda tilts his head.

“I don’t see anyone else here,” Hinata retorts drily. Hesitantly, Komaeda moves toward him. Looking no more bothered than before, he leads the other down the stairs and out of the building, the two of them emerging into the clear, bright day at the same time.

“Oh! Good morning, Hinata-san, Komaeda-san!” Having noticed their presence, Sonia, who was posing by the pool, turns her head and waves.

“Morning,” Hinata greets as Komaeda waves at her.

“Hurry along, you two.” Koizumi looks up from her camera, the viewfinder of which is trained on Sonia. “You're gonna ruin my shot,” she reprimands.

“We mean no trouble,” Komaeda apologizes meekly. Hinata rolls his eyes.

“Have you guys seen Souda?” he inquires instead, walking the length of the pool and idling beside Koizumi.

Sonia shifts. “I believe I saw him hanging around his cabin,” she notes. Koizumi shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly, kneeling down as she lifts her camera closer to her face.

“I've been too focused on Sonia-chan to pay attention to other people. She probably has the better judgement out of the two of us,” the redhead says. “Sonia-chan, can you tilt your head upwards?”

“Certainly!”

Hinata kicks the cement ground with his shoe. “Well, thanks anyways,” he says flatly, and turns to head for the cabins. Komaeda falls into step beside him.

“I'll see you later, too,” Koizumi quips snarkily as they walk away.

“It's wonderful to see the former Super High School Level Photographer at work,” Komaeda comments, casting a glance back at the two girls.

“Mm,” Hinata mumbles inaudibly. He pauses at the door to Souda's cabin, and Komaeda stands to his left, the tresses of his jacket brushing against Hinata's pant legs. He pushes the door bell, and he can hear the _ding dong_ resound through the room.

It swings open a few heartbeats later. “Yo, Hinata. And, uh, hey Komaeda.” Souda is dressed in his usual bright jumpsuit, sans his regular beanie, sporting messy, sticky-uppy hair in its place. He holds open the door for the two of them. “I wanted to show you something.”

“Me as well?” Komaeda asks tentatively. Souda scratches the back of his head.

“Sure, whatever.” He retreats back into the room, gesturing the pair closer. Hinata pushes Komaeda through and walks into it himself, noticing some kind of nondescript machine (or several) on the floor.

“Hey, Kuzuryuu.” The man is sitting on Souda's bed, leafing through a magazine. He looks up with a narrowed eye at Hinata's greeting. “Didn't expect you here.”

“Is there a problem?” Kuzuryuu shoots back. “Someone's gotta tell Souda when his ideas are shit.”

“Hey! My ideas are great!” Souda exclaims indignantly.

“Keep tellin’ yourself that.”

Souda walks over and and bops Kuzuryuu on the head with a socket wrench. “Enough from the peanut gallery.” Kuzuryuu’s mouth flattens into a straight line and the magazine wrinkles as his grip on it strengthens.

“I feel like I'm watching some kind of romcom,” Komaeda whispers to Hinata. His breathy laugh tickles the brunette’s ear.

“What do you mean?” Hinata diverts his gaze from Komaeda and clenches his jaw. The man gives him a bemused half smile and shakes his head lightly.

Souda rolls his eyes. “Now, if Kuzuryuu will stop bullying me, we can get on with this.” He crouches by the machine parts and starts sorting through them.

“I wouldn't do anything of the sort, maverick,” Kuzuryuu snorts from behind the pages.

Komaeda looks at Hinata once again from the corner of his eye. Souda grips his knees with oily, calloused hands. “So, what I was thinking of…”

-:*:-

“Helloooo, Hajime-chan!”

Mioda's excited words cut through the still and quiet seaside air. She's barefoot, tossing up clouds of sand and dust as she runs along the bank. Her arms are high above her head, waving enthusiastically.

“Hi, Mioda.” Hinata's voice is significantly less energetic than the girl's. She grins wildly and comes to a stop, spraying grains all over the cuffs of Hinata's jeans.

“It's strange for Hajime-chan to be alone! Usually he's with Nagito-chan or someone!” Mioda comments brightly, looking out into the blue sea.

“Wha--? I spend plenty of time alone.” Hinata crosses his arms over his chest. Mioda blinks her bright fuschia eyes at him, folding her hands behind her back. She brings her face close to Hinata's.

“Really?” Mioda hums. “Whenever Ibuki sees Nagito-chan, he's always with Hajime-chan! You two never invite Ibuki to play with you.” She pouts at him.

“I wouldn't say that…” As Hinata trails off, he looks out to the sea himself. The waves are gentle, lapping at the shore and threatening to dampen his shoes. The light glinting off it is a shimmering kind of white; uneven bands shifting as the water does. It's beautiful, it's a reminder of how much they've managed to change on this little island.

“Ibuki thinks it's good, you know.” Her lips flatten. “From what Ibuki heard… Nagito-chan didn't do very well in the game.” _That's one way of putting it_. “But he's getting help now, from you, Hajime-chan. More than you realize.”

“What brought this on?” Hinata cuts her off.

Mioda laughs quietly, and she straightens her posture. “I dunno! Ibuki just wants her friends to be happy. She thinks that after everything, we should just kick back and play some electric guitar. Relax, y'know?” She gives him a 1000-watt grin and gestures like she's playing the aforementioned instrument.

“We still have so much work to do,” Hinata reminds her.

The girl shakes her head vigorously. “Hajime-chan, if that's all you think about, you're gonna get grey hairs before you're thirty.” She slaps him on the back with a little too much force than was necessarily needed.

“Ow,” he bites. Mioda smiles at him.

“Ibuki always gives good advice! Keep that in mind,” she advises, wagging a finger at him. “Ibuki thinks Hajime-chan needs a lifetime prescription to chill pills.”

“Duly noted,” Hinata replies, deadpan. Mioda gives him a reassuring thumbs up.

“Oh, speak of the devil.” Mioda's eyes widen, and she points behind Hinata. When he pivots around, he sees Komaeda approaching the two of them, hands pocketed in his jacket. His eyes find Hinata's gaze, and he brightens. “Hajime-chan, Ibuki's gotta run! She was in the middle of looking for Akane-chan before you distracted her!”

“I didn't-- Hey, didn't you say you wanted to spend more time with us?” He calls out to her, but to no avail. By the time the words have left his mouth, she's fifty metres away, howling out a farewell to him. “Ugh, that Mioda.”

“Hinata-kun, is something wrong…?” As Komaeda gets closer, his face scrunches up in confusion. “Is she afraid to be near me?”

“Nothing like that.” Hinata puts a hand to his chin. “She was playing some game with Owari, I guess. She complained about us hanging out without her, then left.”

“Without her…? It wasn't my intention to exclude her.” Komaeda looks away, bashful. Hinata thinks in the back of his mind that it's vaguely endearing.

“She sure is something. Anyways, why are you here?” Hinata waves his hand like he's swatting away a fly, then turns to look at Komaeda. Interestingly enough, he doesn't meet Hinata's gaze, keeping it focused on the water.

“Is it alright to say I was looking for you?” For the briefest of moments, his eyes dart to Hinata, then return to the sea before them.

“Looking for me? Why?”

Komaeda shrugs his shoulders. “This may be presumptuous of me to say, but I find your company to be quite comforting. No matter how you look at it, our situation is… Rather abnormal. I think it's good to have a constant. And who more constant than Hinata-kun?”

In spite of his better judgement, Hinata feels his cheeks heat. “Are you insulting me?”

Komaeda laughs. “What makes you think that?” He casts a glance down the seaside and the yellowish sand. “Could you sacrifice some of your time to go on a short walk with me?”

_Sacrifice?_ “Can you stop acting like spending time with you is a whole ordeal?” Hinata asks tiredly. “It's not.”

“My apologies, Hinata-kun. Old habits die hard.” The two of them start off slowly walking down the water’s edge.

“Sounds less like a habit and more like something you should talk about with one of the Foundation's therapists.” Hinata frowns.

“You're concerned about me?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Komaeda looks surprised, but not unpleasantly so. He exhales deeply, eyes trained directly in front of him. “I'm worried, Hinata-kun,” he admits. “You're not going to be happy with what I have to say, but-- I've woken up after I thought I was dead for certain. You saved me from that fate. All of us Remnants of Despair have begun to atone for our sins. There has to be some massive slice of humble pie that has yet to be served.” There's fear in his pale eyes as he speaks. “And even I'm happy, right now. There has to be a punishment for this.”

“There doesn't _have_ to be any punishment for anything. I know your entire world is this cycle of give and take, but ours isn't,” Hinata rebukes sternly. Komaeda gives him a wistful look that makes his heart hiccup.

“Wouldn't that be nice, if you were able to live your life, and I, mine? But the world isn't so kind.” Komaeda's gaze turns hard. “I don’t want my problems to interfere with everyone else’s hopefulness.” He looks downcast, and it’s clear to Hinata that this is an internal strife that he’s fought and believes to have settled.

“It’s not going to,” Hinata assures him.

Komaeda gives him a guarded look. “You can’t know that for sure.”

“You can’t know it will happen!”

The two men share a meaningful look, one that says so many things that words can’t even begin to fathom. Hinata’s gaze is adamant and sharp, boring holes into Komaeda. The former’s heart thumps against his chest.

“I suppose I should know better than to argue with Hinata-kun.” Komaeda looks up at the sky. “I truly want to be happy for this good luck, that I’m able to stand next to you once again.” The sun casts a warm glow on the side of his face, causing his skin to appear even paler than usual, accentuated in the light.

Hinata’s chest tightens. “Whatever you say. I’m glad.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away, glowering.

“Enough of this. Let’s talk about something more hopeful, shall we?” Komaeda claps his hands together and smiles cutely. “I noticed that Koizumi-san and Saionji-san were making a display in the restaurant of all of the photos she was taking. It looks quite nice, all the photos of everyone smiling…” He trails off, a familiar distant look in his eyes. “I asked her why they all seemed to be smiling, and she told me she liked to capture moments in time of true happiness, because those only exist briefly.”

“That sounds like her,” Hinata comments.

“She then shooed me away for ruining her aesthetic, as it were… Then said she’d get a picture of me, too.”

“Come to think of it, she was taking all those shots of Sonia the other day. I guess it’s her version of getting through all this,” Hinata expounds. Komaeda bobs his head in a nod as he walks.

“Art can bring people together, Hinata-kun, and she surely can with her lovely talent” he reminds him with a soft voice.

“I didn’t say she couldn’t.” Hinata bristles.

“So defensive,” Komaeda chirps.

“It’s good to see the two of them working on that… Together.” The men exchange knowing glances, and Hinata huffs out a breath of air. “Mioda said something about wanting to have a party, come the holidays. They’re not too far off, you know,” he adds. Komaeda’s eyebrows twitch.

“I’m glad we have such a moodmaker on our island. Er, hasn’t she broken into your room several times…?”

Hinata sighs heavily, deeply enough for Komaeda to chuckle at his misfortune. “Yeah. My lock isn’t recovering anytime soon. If I fixed it, she would just break it again.” He shakes his head from side to side, fighting back a smile.

“You’re probably right,” Komaeda concedes.

They walk in a comfortable silence for a bit. The sound of the crashing waves resound in their ears, drowning out the quiet breaths. Hinata’s gaze drops to his feet, watching his sneakers kick yellowish grains of sand and send them flying out in spurts. Somewhere in the distance, he thinks he can hear Nidai’s boisterous voice, laughing galavantly. He’s sure if he listened closer, he could hear Tanaka waxing poetic, and Owari yelling with determination. His gaze slides over to Komaeda.

To his surprise, Komaeda is regarding him as well, with a contemplative look in his eyes. There’s a soft feeling there, too, mingling with the confusion. Hinata looks away quickly, his stomach tightening with some kind of unprecedented anxiety. His hands ball into fists at his sides.

What the Hell else was he supposed to do, maintain eye contact? That’s just strange. The tips of his ears warm.

“Hinata-kun…”

Hinata’s jaw tenses. The pair come to a slow, rooting themselves in the sand of the beach. They turn to each other-- there was something unfortunate about them being the same height, because Hinata has nowhere to look but directly at his face. His face, which is softened around the edges, and with the sun behind him, is faintly shadowed. He blinks his pale eyes, and Hinata realizes at that moment that they’re standing awful close together.

_Why am I getting so worked up over this?_ He leans back subconsciously.

“What is it?” he replies as nonchalantly as he can manage.

Komaeda says nothing for a moment, as if he’s going over dialogue options in his head. Hinata briefly considers just breaking the tension and running away, or perhaps surrendering himself to the ocean waves.

“I was just wondering if we could do this again sometime.” Komaeda smiles warmly, looking embarrassed. “As I mentioned before, you have a calming presence.” He tips his head upwards. “I enjoyed this.”

_Is that it?_ Somewhere, Hinata feels a twinge of disappointment. However, this is a feeling he would rather not explore, for his own sake. “Oh, uh, sure. Why not.” His delivery is flat.

“Thank you.” Suddenly, Hinata’s hand is seized by Komaeda’s, and the sudden touch causes him to nearly jerk out of his grasp, but he resigns to stepping backwards. A jolt of electricity ripples through his body. Komaeda holds it gently, like he’s holding a fragile, injured bird. He’s… Afraid. Hesitant. Hinata gives his hand a firm squeeze, trying to reassure him in some way or another.

The tense atmosphere is unbearable. Hinata’s heart is working overtime from the stress of it all, and he’s trying to direct his attention anywhere except the warmth in his cheeks and his hand. Was he expecting the hand to be cold?

“No problem.” At Hinata’s reply, Komaeda drops his hand, and the former exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. There’s a pale pink tinge to Komaeda’s face as he puts his hands into his pockets and bites back a smile.

“I’ll see you soon, then.” He dips his head and starts to leave slowly, heading along the water’s edge away from Hinata, who is left staring at his backside, somewhat dumbfounded. He felt discomfort mounting in his stomach. After everything he had been through, this is what shook him to the core? Holding hands with someone?

_Shit._

-:*:-

“Sleepyhead, get your ass up.”

Hinata's slumber is unceremoniously interrupted by a familiar voice piercing the dreary quietness of early morning. His eyelids flit open, not without issue, and he immediately adopts an annoyed expression. “What do you want, Kuzuryuu?” he grumbles in a low, tired voice. The blonde is perched on a chair across from him-- _Wait, a chair?_

His eyes gradually adjust to his surroundings, at which point he realizes two things: He's not in his cottage, and he must have fallen asleep in the restaurant. Warm browns and oranges fill his slitted vision, and sunlight filters into the room through the windows. “Fuck,” he curses quietly.

“Thought you might wanna wake up before everyone else comes in to get their food,” Kuzuryuu says, smirking. As Hinata lifts a fist to scrape off any dry drool, he feels some kind of weight shifting on his back.

“Wha--?” He reaches behind himself and grasps a fistful of the strange weight, and finds himself gripping thick green fabric. When he pulls it off of himself, it quickly becomes apparent what it is.

“Why is Komaeda's jacket here?” Hinata demands. Kuzuryuu snorts indignantly.

“Why the Hell would I know that?” he exclaims. “Maybe he saw you zonked out and decided to be a gentleman so you don't freeze.” He holds out a hand toward Hinata. The brunette reddens.

“Ugh, Komaeda…” He says his name with no real intention of where to go with the sentence. Kuzuryuu’s eyebrows knit. He's sitting like a frog, arms resting on his knees. He leans forward

“Can you guys have your honeymoon somewhere other than Jabberwock? For all our sakes.” He rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. Hinata balks.

“What are you talking about?” He shouts just a _tad_ too loudly.

Instead of addressing his question, Kuzuryuu just _hmphs_. “Why don't you put it on? I think it'll go nicely with your disheveled shirt and messy hair.” He grins.

Suddenly self-conscious of his appearance, Hinata runs his fingers through his bangs. “I don’t like what you're implying,” he says with a frown. He notices that he's still gripping Komaeda's jacket with whitened knuckles and opts to loosen his death grasp.

“Were you always this dense?” Kuzuryuu screws up his face. He hops off the chair he's occupying and dusts off his pants, clicking his dress shoes on the hardwood floors. “Make yourself semi-presentable, loverboy. I'm gonna go make sure Souda hasn't keeled over and died in his cottage.”

Before Hinata can respond, Kuzuryuu leaps down the stairs and makes his graceful exit, leaving Hinata alone with the muffled sounds of birds chirping and the deafening atmosphere. Most of all, he's still clutching the jacket in his hands.

He knows what Kuzuryuu is trying to convey to him, but that's a different matter for future Hinata to deal with. It hadn't been that long since the end of the program, since their rehabilitation, since _Nanami._ He was trying hard to move on, dammit, he was trying so hard, and he felt like he was making progress, but he wasn't sure if he was prepared yet.

He wants to be prepared, and he knows that his heart wants that, too, what with the way it has begun to quicken as Hinata slumps down in his seat. It even _smells_ like Komaeda, whatever that meant, like new books and generic fruit-scented cologne. A strange sounding blend, but one that he doesn’t mind.

And when he looks down at the paperwork he had fallen asleep doing, all he wants is to pull the jacket up over his shoulders and close his eyes once more. Though he figures if he chooses that option, Kuzuryuu will wake him up with something much less kind than words.

Yawning, he stands up from the table and pushes the papers aside. The clock installed in the restaurant tells him that it's nearly seven, so he reasons he should be able to shower and change before most people start showing up.

With a feeling akin to guilty pleasure settling in his stomach, he pulls on the jacket, for no other reason than that he didn't want to lug it around in his arms. It forms comfortably around his body, and it's still warm, presumably from having been wrapped around him all night.

As he steps into the morning air, his eyes narrow instinctively against the rising sun. Despite the fact that it's not entirely hot out, he can feel the jacket weighing on him, and he vaguely wonders how Komaeda can stand to go about his day on the island in something so heavy.

He also wonders if he zips up the jacket and puts the hood up, he could masquerade as the other and avoid further questioning.

He's never been one for hiding who he is, and so, he marches proudly to his cabin with his ears and cheeks dusted red.

As soon as the door is closed (not locked, curse Mioda), he tosses the coat onto the bed and retreats to his bathroom. After some five minutes, he's clean, damp, and rid of the sleep in his eyes. The hair is unfortunately an unsolvable issue, because as he dries it with a towel it only gets spikier. Realizing he can do nothing more to placate it, he sighs and leaves, Komaeda's jacket tucked under his arm.

The day has only grown brighter in the short time he was not in it. He blinks habitually and makes his way back to the restaurant. As he walks, he notices Tanaka pulling the door of his own cabin shut. “Hey, Tanaka,” Hinata greets. The man looks up at him and nods.

“Greetings, mortal,” he says. Hinata idles, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waits for him to catch up. With a bandaged hand, his indicates the coat. “Why is it that you’re carrying that around like a talisman?”

“I wouldn’t call it a talisman…,” Hinata objects. Tanaka chuckles in that dark fashion of his.

“No need to justify yourself,” he interrupts. “I know that good luck charms can oft make little sense to others.”

_You’re the one who asked why I had it,_ Hinata thinks mutinously. “Anyways, he just left it at the restaurant, so I grabbed it. No big deal,” he grumbles. Tanaka appears to take this into account, thoughtfulness reflected in his slanted eyes.

“I sense your reluctance, fiend, and so I will not press further.” He adjusts his scarf.

“Okay?” Hinata lifts an eyebrow. “By the way, where are your Zodiac Generals?” he adds, having noticed their absence in his dresswear.

“She-cat has taken them out for a walk…”

They continue to talk as they walk to the building together, Tanaka mainly chatting about his animals and Sonia, while Hinata offers comments and laughter, but mainly lets the other dominate the conversation. He’s quite good at it, and although Hinata has gotten quite adept at translating Tanaka’s archaic way of speaking, he occasionally gets lost.

When the pair enter the building, Tanaka dips his head. “By your leave, mortal. I must go make up a dish fit for the Twelve Zodiac Generals.” He sweeps his cape around in a most fanciful way, then retreats upstairs. Hinata shakes his head in amusement.

As he passes by the arcade machine in the lobby, he allows his hand to come to rest upon the surface. He smiles privately to himself, smoothing a thumb over the black screen. He feels nothing save a warm emotion swelling in his chest, and he savours the feeling for a moment before continuing on.

Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama are leaning against the wall, chatting, while the latter holds a glass of water. Kuzuryuu arches an eyebrow at Hinata as the two make eye contact. His gaze drops to the jacket before he looks back up to Hinata’s face. His eye widens and his purses his lips, appearing to try to say something without opening his mouth.

Hinata’s mouth flattens and he shrugs. Kuzuryuu rolls his eye, and that’s the extent of their conversation. The brunette heads up the stairs.

He’s greeted by a familiar face and head of white hair, who turns to him as he enters. “Oh, Hinata-k--” Komaeda is quickly cut off as Hinata tosses the balled up jacket at him, which hits him in the face. He reaches up to grab it, pulling it down to his chest. “Uh…?”

“It’s your jacket,” Hinata says quickly, crossing his arms. Komaeda cracks a smile.

“I trust you slept well,” he teases. It’s at this point Hinata realizes he rarely sees the other sans jacket, and notices the sheen of the chain hanging from his jeans and how his shirt seems very hastily tucked into his pants.

“Yeah, well, it’s not the most comfortable thing, to fall asleep at a table,” Hinata says stiltedly, dragging his eyes back up to Komaeda’s face.

“I thought that my coat would soften the experience,” he giggles, really, _giggles_.

“Really.”

Komaeda tips his head to one side. “Did it not? It may not be the best makeshift blanket, but… I thought it was nice.” He approaches Hinata to stand by him as he pulls the jacket back over his own shoulders.

Suddenly, Hinata’s heart is in his throat. “It was fine,” he mutters begrudgingly.

The two of them idle around the table, where Hanamura has begun to set out some breakfast dishes. They get themselves sorted as the rest of the remaining scattered students gather in the room. “Alright, everyone.” Koizumi, who appears to be pinning a photo to her board, faces the people who have gathered. “Let’s go over today’s plan.”

“Mm, you look really stupid in this one, Big Bro Hinata,” Saionji snickers, finger on the new photo. Hinata’s brow creases.

“What are you talking about--” He starts to move towards the display, but Koizumi halts him with a stiff glare.

“Look at your shame afterwards, Hinata. Does anyone have off-island duties today?” she continues, hands on her hips. Sonia, hamsters in lap, raises her hand.

“I was to accompany Togami-san on a diplomacy mission,” she discloses.

Koizumi produces a notebook from a pocket somewhere and presumably jots down what she’s been told. “Okay, good. Anyone else?”

“I’m not sure if I’ll be leaving, but I’m delivering some food for the relief efforts,” Hanamura says, pulling at his neckerchief. Koizumi nods and writes that down as well.

“Over the next couple of days, I’m going to be assisting Naegi with some Hope’s Peak related things,” Hinata puts in. The job was in part why he was working on paperwork-- of course, before he slipped into sleep. The information is taken down.

“Is that it?” Koizumi prods. When no one else speaks up, she snaps the notebook shut.

“Alright,” she hums approvingly. “I always thought it strange that we left the island on that big boat only to return to it as our base of operations. Seems inconvenient.” She shakes her head. “Does anyone else have anything to say before we eat?”

“Oh, oh!” There’s a clamour as Mioda hops up from one of the chairs in the lounge. “Ibuki has something she wants to bring up!” She waves her hands wildly as if she’s not in a room where everyone has their attention focused on her.

“What is it, Mioda-chan?” Koizumi asks. Grinning maniacally, Mioda slams her hands down on the table, causing a glass of punch sitting on it to clatter.

“Ibuki thinks that everyone has been way too pensive and cooped up lately,” she starts.

“Not without reason,” Kuzuryuu bites. Mioda sticks out her tongue.

“Anyways, Ibuki suggests we have a party! To celebrate the new year… Together.” Her bright eyes soften slightly, her dark and dyed tresses framing her smiling face. “Ibuki just thinks we’ve all been working really hard, and that we’ll all atroph and die without some fun in our lives!”

“We do have a lot that we should be focusing on,” Souda starts hesitantly, scratching his head.

“H-however!” Tsumiki speaks up from Mioda’s side. “U-um… I think it’s good to t-take a break from such st-stressful situations… I think that M-Mioda-san’s idea is a g-good one.” Her voice is as shaky as ever, and her eyes are downcast. Mioda smiles warmly at her and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to her side. The girl flusters, fingers gripping her apron nervously.

Hinata realizes briefly that he hadn’t spoken to Tsumiki in a while; she was usually around the other girls. She must really be struggling with her identity-- perhaps out of all of them, Enoshima was the one who got to her the most, and it’s evident in her nervous looks and shaky demeanor. He feels a burst of thankfulness for Mioda, who seemed to have taken both a liking to her and concern for her wellbeing.

At least, he thinks, she was speaking her own thoughts. That was enough to show progress.

“If your nurse is telling you to do it, then you all better listen,” Mioda huffs sternly. “We’re not leaving this room until I get a yes from all of you. Capisce?”

“Isn’t that strong-arming?” Hinata wonders aloud. Komaeda smiles wanly at him, eyes betraying some indescribable emotion.

“Let it lie, Hinata-kun. I think Mioda-san’s idea is great,” he puts in. Everyone else in the room looks around at each other.

There’s an unspoken ripple of anxiety in each and every person-- the buried memory of what happened at their last party. It’s clear by the way fear flashes in the eyes of Hanamura, and the darkening of Mitarai’s that although each of them made their own promise to move forward into a new, brighter future, the past still hung onto them with its icy and unforgiving claws, embedding itself in all of their hearts and minds. It was a shadow that trailed all of them, and one that was thinly veiled at that.

No matter how much they wanted to change, no matter how much they _had_ changed, they were always followed by the memories, by the past, by the _death._

“It will be different this time.” Hinata’s words are heavy, addressing everyone’s troubled expressions. “Because we’ll make it different.”

“Hinata-kun…” Komaeda’s eyes are wide and full of gratitude. Hinata is suddenly made aware of how close he is to Komaeda. They’re standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder, it would be so easy to just reach out and take his hand.

But he doesn’t. He gives him a close-lipped smile, one that he hopes is comforting.

“Sounds good. I’m in.” Owari is the first to speak up after Hinata. They all turn to her, and she rolls her eyes and takes another bite of her meal. “If I let myself worry about everything in the past, I wouldn’t be here with you guys.” She slams a fist on the table. “Who’s with me?”

“I agree, it sounds like a good idea,” Sonia starts. “I was never really able to celebrate New Years in my home country. I would like to.”

“Kehehe, someone needs to be there to usher in the coming year. Who better than I?” Tanaka shifts in his seat. Sonia smiles and places a hand on his knee, causing the man to blush from his head to his toes.

“Hell yeah,” Saionji snarks. “Big Sis Ibuki, can you perform?”

“You bet!” Mioda chirps. There’s another tremor of fear within the group, but for a much lighter reason.

“If everyone’s going, I’ll go, too,” Souda relents.

“Same,” Kuzuryuu agrees.

“I’ll come.”

“Me too!”

“I’m in!”

Mioda grins in a self-satisfied way. “Ibuki, you genius, you’ve done it again!” she snickers. She’s still straddling Tsumiki close to her, and the girl smiles weakly at the other’s self praise. Mioda finger guns at the surrounding people and winks.

“Alrighty then! The party will be on the 31st, since, y’know, New Years and all.” She seems to release her grip on Tsumiki, because she shifts away slightly and leans into the back of the couch. Komaeda straightens and puts a hand to his chin.

“If it’s on the 31st, then…” He pauses for a moment to look at Hinata. “Hinata-kun…”

“What? Were you guys planning a date that day?” Saionji croons.

“Uh, no, what?” splutters Hinata. It’s hard to ignore the feeling of panic that has revved up inside him, but Komaeda seems to be showing little to no reaction to Saionji’s words. Either he’s very calm in situations like this, or Hinata’s quickened heart rate is futile. Both are things that Hinata could believe.

“Nothing of the sort.” He beams at the group, dispelling the tension that Hinata feels has been wound in his stomach. Saionji pouts, looking unconvinced. “Actually, if I’m remembering correctly… Isn’t Hinata-kun’s birthday on the first day of the new year?” He tilts his chin.

“Oh! Is that so?” Sonia exclaims, putting her hands together.

“Oh, yeah.” Honestly, with everything that was going on, Hinata had nearly forgotten the day entirely. He faces them all with a sheepish grin. “It is.”

Mioda jumps up from her seat _again_ and pumps her fists wildly in the air. “Yahoo! Then it’s a double whammy! A New Years celebration _and_ Hajime-chan’s birthday party? Why, Ibuki’s just fantastic at this whole planning thing.” Her face is flushed a pale red, perhaps from the sheer adrenaline pumping through her veins. “Be there or be square. If _any_ of you are missing, Ibuki is gonna huntcha down!”

“Your threat is noted,” Mitarai comments.

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise!”

The group begins to chatter loudly, spirits lifted, thanks to Mioda. Komaeda wasn’t kidding, all those times he called her a moodmaker. Even Hinata, whose upcoming business with Naegi had been occupying his mind for much longer than he would have liked, feels his heart is lighter.

Well, that was due to another source, as well.

Komaeda gives him a pleased look. “A night celebrating you,” he jokes.

“Don’t say it like that.” Hinata’s skin prickles with heat.

“Nonetheless, It’ll be fun… I hope.” There’s that worry in his eyes again, something he’s clearly trying to shove deep inside of him but alas it rears its ugly head. He looks up at the ceiling.

“Don’t worry, Komaeda, it’s going to be fine.” Hinata wishes with everything in him that just once, Komaeda will hear his words and be able to accept them. He knew the reasons Komaeda had issues. Hell, he probably knew him better than everyone else in the room, combined. He knew that within Komaeda’s mind, he had logic and experience to back up what he thought and how he reacted to it. It’s not something Hinata is going to fix with a smile and a few encouraging words, but maybe that will be the catalyst. Maybe all the time they’ve spent together, in the program and out, will help to shift his world view, even in the most miniscule of ways.

It hurts Hinata’s brain to try and wrap his mind around all of Komaeda’s behaviours and tics. It even confuses the part of him that’s still mostly Kamukura. If he let himself lay back and allow Kamukura to take over, he’d probably be able to come up with detailed analyses and charts of why Komaeda thinks like he does and how to solve it. It’s a temptation he finds himself fighting often. He doesn’t want to take the easy way out. Nanami wouldn’t want him to do that.

He wants _Hinata_ to be able to understand Komaeda.

Komaeda smiles at him, and he smiles back.

-:*:-

It was unfortunate that it didn’t really snow on the island. There’s a slight chill in the air, but that was it. And if you’re Komaeda, it’s something that you don’t take note of, what with a jacket wrapped comfortably around your body. The sky is a deep orange that stretches around the entire island, with splashes of gold and magenta interwoven within.

He recalls what Koizumi had said regarding their living on the island. He did think it odd, himself, how they worked with the Foundation on-site before returning by ship. It was a temporary thing, he remembers, for their safety, Naegi never intended to keep them there forever-- though it had been months since they had all woken up, he figured that they wouldn’t stay here when there was work to be done on the mainland. Despite that, he had grown fond of Jabberwock.

But that’s in the new year. Tonight, Komaeda is just going to celebrate.

With Hinata, hopefully.

_Hinata-kun._ Just thinking of him makes Komaeda’s chest tighten with an unprecedented feeling of anxiety. He caught himself picturing his smiling face more than was necessarily normal, and, well, he had come to the conclusion that it was _not_ normal.

He doubts that Hinata paid too much attention to him within the game, but the same cannot be said for the opposite. Whilst there were many things he kept to himself, he was never one for subtlety with his relationships and opinions, something he was quite open with. Hinata was someone he had admired throughout the run of the program, someone who he found attractive both in mind and body. He felt as though he gravitated towards him due to their similar scents, and eventually grew attached. A mistake, really, given his actions. He feels a surge to guilt in his stomach.

Hinata was part of the reason he hesitated. Hesitated for so many things.

And those harboured feelings trailed him as he was awoken from his coma, feelings that burst out of him and pulled him towards Kamukura, towards Hinata, towards a future he could live and fight alongside the latter. His presence was calming, it was a relief, it was a reminder that Hinata chose to rescue him from his feverish world of ideals and let him live in the same world as him.

He thinks about these things as he walks towards the party building. He would be surprised if his feelings were requited, but that didn’t stop the longing ache that pulled at his heart every time their eyes met, or the electric spark he felt as a rush down his spine when their skin touched.

Komaeda hopes, at least, that Hinata regards him with respect. In the back of his mind, he feels nothing short of dirty even _wishing_ to be equals with Hinata, but he grits his teeth and tries to shove that thought back where it came from.

He’s trying. And Hinata’s trying for him, too-- he stifles an amused chuckle imaging the brunette reprimanding him for the self-deprecation.

It warms his heart and his face.

He pushes the door to the building open; it creaks loudly as it swings. The lights are on in the building, casting an inviting yellow-white glow on the wood panelled walls. If he listens, he can hear Mioda’s sharp voice as she presumably speaks to someone else. But, who is Komaeda to assume?

He passes familiar doorways and decorations as he makes his way to the main room. He rests his hand on the entrance for a heartbeat, hearing the voices of everyone else that had arrived. Hoping dearly that he’s not the last one here, he opens up the door.

“Nagito-chan! Heyyyy!” Of course, Mioda is the first one to speak. In an instant, she’s by Komaeda’s side, and is strapping a campy party hat to his head. The elastic band snaps against his chin and he smiles confusedly.

“Good evening, Mioda-san.” She grins happily, and Komaeda takes note of the two hats that she’s wearing, both of them over her hair horns.

“Now you look ready to party!” She slaps Komaeda on the back.

“Thanks.”

Mioda gives him a thumbs up and twirls away to Tanaka and Souda. Tanaka locks his eyes with Komaeda’s and dips his head, a gesture Komaeda returns with a wave. There’s a strange atmosphere about the room-- over the course of the past few months, they hadn’t all spent time together for an elongated period. The last time they’d done anything of the sort, Komaeda figures, was when they were on the ship.

“Hey, Komaeda.” It’s Hinata’s voice.

“Well, if it isn’t the man of the hour.” Komaeda’s eyes flicker to the source of the voice, who is approaching him with a glass of orange juice in his hand. He’s got his party hat off to one side of his head, poking upwards at an angle. He cracks an endearing, embarrassed smile.

“It’s bad enough that Mioda’s making me wear this hat, don’t make it worse,” he mumbles, tugging at the elastic around his chin.

“Careful, you might hurt yourself.” Komaeda’s face crinkles, already feeling more at ease. “So, what is it? Two hours until your birthday?”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Komaeda’s eyebrows pull together as Hinata speaks. “Hey, I’m not used to doing big things for my birthday, leave me alone.” He crosses his arms uncomfortably.

“My apologies, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda shrugs sympathetically. “Do you wanna sit somewhere together? I-if you want to, that is.”

“Sure.” Hinata says it like it’s nothing, and Komaeda curses himself for tripping over his words.

Maybe it _is_ nothing. Maybe that’s what Hinata wants it to be.

Unfortunately, Komaeda’s heart aches for the alternative.

The pair settles into chairs that are pushed up against the wall. They’re not alone, however, as Mitarai occupies one near them. He glances up at the two. “Good evening, both of you. And happy early birthday to you, Hinata.”

“Ah, thanks.” Hinata smiles awkwardly.

“How are you tonight, Mitarai-kun?” Komaeda asks. The man shifts his weight and makes a “so-so” gesture with his hand.

“I’m fine. I’ve never been one for parties… Though I suppose I could get used to them.”

“I see,” Komaeda hums. “And, ah, I just realized I’ve called you Mitarai-kun… Have you come up with a name you prefer?” He holds out a hand.

“Not yet. Once I do, I will let you know. However…” He crosses his legs. “I feel as if it’s unnecessary for me to have this internal debate in the midst of the apocalypse.”

Hinata snorts. “Don’t say that.”

“I think most of us are having internal debates while circumventing the destruction of humanity,” Komaeda drawls. Mitarai gives him a look of concern.

“Your worry is appreciated, but it’s fine,” Mitarai assures them. “More importantly, I believe that Mioda was right to throw this party. She’s so eccentric that I forget she’s quite good at reading people.” He tips his head towards the girl, who appears to be busily amusing Nidai with her guitar. In the next second, she’s spun around and is throwing her guitar to Souda and holding a microphone close to Kuzuryuu’s lips.

“Isn’t she?” Komaeda comments. “I guess that’s the skill of the former Super High School Level Musician… Bringing people together?” He and Hinata share a look, one that warms Komaeda’s heart due to the mild confusion brimming in the brunette’s eyes.

“I think that’s just Mioda,” Hinata says, eyebrows knitting.

Mitarai chuckles. “You both may be right.” He stands up from his chair and puts his hands on his hips, leaning back and exhaling a deep sigh. “I’m going to go speak with the others. I hope the both of you have a pleasant night.” He smiles, and it’s a genuine smile.

“Likewise,” Komaeda says. Then Mitarai is off, ambling towards Tsumiki and Koizumi, both of whom are standing behind a table. “Such a brave, strong person.” His eyes sparkle with admiration.

“Yeah.” Hinata puts his hands on his knees. “Trying to come up with your own identity can’t be the easiest thing.”

“You would know, huh, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda asks softly. _It’s not easy for him, either, I bet._ “Better than I would.”

“Mm.” Hinata gives some grunt of agreement, and Komaeda looks at the bright red eye upon his face.

“Hey! Everyone! Hey!” Komaeda wants to say more, but in that moment, he’s silenced by Mioda. She’s jumping up and down, trying and succeeding to get the attention of everyone in the room. “Ibuki’s gonna turn the lights off now, ‘kay?” She grins boldly.

“You don’t need to announce it all importantly.” Saionji lifts her glass and screws up her face. Mioda sticks out her tongue.

“Well, Ibuki wanted to! Don’t worry, it’s not gonna be dark for long-- Ibuki has devised a plan to keep it from being pitch black in here.” She winks.

“Is it… Those lights?” Nidai points a finger at the paper lamps and fairy lights lining the wall. Mioda pouts.

“Damn, you figured me out!” She curses, snapping her thumb and middle finger. She sidles over to the wall and flicks the light switch. For a moment, the room is plunged into complete darkness, and Komaeda feels fear seize his heart. Aside from a primal fear of the dark, he’s violently shoved back into a memory he didn’t want to recall, a memory he wished he would _never_ recall, and one that presses weight and the feeling of cool metal deep into the palm of his hands.

This was not what he had planned. This was not what he had _planned._

He grips the bottom of his chair with unprecedented vigor.

Then he feels someone’s, _Hinata’s_ hand on his knee. And then the fairy lights and lamps flicker on, and it’s over.

Hinata’s angular face is softened by the gentle, pale light of the paper lamps, and his eyes reflect the bulbs of the strings of light like they would stars. His expression is contorted into one of concern, lips drawn into a slight frown. “Komaeda…?” There’s conversation going on around them; Komaeda can vaguely pick out Owari, Mioda, and Nidai’s from the sea of voices. At that point, however, time has slowed to a crawl, and he’s staring directly at Hinata’s face. He feels his body flush hot as a response to the sudden fluctuation in tension and anxiety, the intensity in Hinata’s gaze, and the grip he has on Komaeda’s knee. He swallows the lump in his throat.

“I-I’m fine.” In spite of his words, his heart has sped up, and he lambasts himself internally for allowing himself to have such a visceral reaction when he’s sitting right beside Hinata. He bites his lip and huffs out another response. “Please don’t worry about me.”

“You can’t just ask me not to worry,” Hinata says in stern tone of voice. “Dammit, Komaeda, I can’t help you if you keep pretending this stuff doesn’t bother you.”

“My apologies, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda crosses his ankles. Hinata hasn’t lifted his hand from his jeans, and it’s something that Komaeda is minutely aware of. “I don’t want to bother you.”

“It’s _not_ bothering me.” Hinata’s eyes narrow. “What’s bothering me is you assuming you’re bothering me.”

“Too much bothering,” Komaeda concedes. “It’s irrational of me to be so scared. And I feel as if… It’s not something that I deserve to feel, if that makes sense.” The walls look like a painting, he notices, with the way the creamy grey shadows blend with the colour of the wall. “After all I’ve done, after all that’s happened to my body… The doctors were able to salvage some of me, but do I really have the right to be scared of the dark?” He looks down at his prosthetic hand.

“You’re overthinking this,” Hinata replies simply.

“Maybe so.”

“Komaeda, I don’t really know what goes on in your head, but if you’re here, you’re here.” Hinata finally takes his hand off of Komaeda’s knee and leans back in his seat. The warmth is soon gone. “I get feeling ashamed, I mean, I… I _caused_ what happened to us.” He jabs a finger at his eye. “See this shit?”

“I see it,” Komaeda confirms.

“Just because I’m moving forward doesn’t mean I forget what happened. What I did. I think about it all the time. I think about Nanami. I think about the deaths of my friends. I think about Kamukura and how he’s a part of me that I’ll never get rid of, that I have to live with, but…” Hinata’s eyes go to the ceiling. “If that’s all I think about, I’ll be stuck in stasis.”

Komaeda takes a moment to absorb what Hinata’s really saying, to lay back and take his words, hear what he’s trying to convey. He’s not really the best at _direct_ comforting, but he’s putting his heart into his advice, and Komaeda respects that dearly. “You’re very inspiring, Hinata-kun.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

Komaeda stares at his feet. “I mean, there’s something admirable about moving forward in the face of despair. About that kind of hope… You have a lot inside of you. I think you’re an inspiration for all of us here on the island.”

Hinata flushes, and it’s a sweet sight in the half-light. “Don’t say stuff like that so casually.”

“Ah… sorry.” Komaeda rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. There’s a quiet moment between them and Komaeda is able to hear Mioda strumming on her guitar, in a less egregious manner than he would have expected her to, just a simple kind of folk song with little accompaniment. She looks like she’s trying to coerce Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu to sing a duet to go along with it, but if their body language is anything to go by they look rather nonplussed. Still, the determination sparking Mioda’s gaze proves she will not be easily swayed by their distaste. Komaeda nudges Hinata.

“Hey, do you think that Mioda-san is going to get us to do karaoke?” he asks in a whisper. Hinata visibly shudders.

“God, I hope not,” he mutters.

“Not in the mood to sing tonight?”

“Tonight? Try _never_.”

Komaeda laughs at the frown that has etched itself onto Hinata’s face. “Come on, try and relax. We’re celebrating, aren’t we?” He smiles gently.

“You’re right.” Hinata lets out a sigh of contempt. “Celebrating doesn’t have to include me singing Avril Lavigne songs.”

“We could do a duet, like Pekoyama-san and Kuzuryuu-kun,” Komaeda suggests. He indicates the pair, but it appears that Mioda has moved on, throwing her free arm around Souda and pressing the microphone to his lips. Kuzuryuu seems immensely more amused at this turn of events, crossing his arms with a bemused smile. “She’s probably going to get Tsumiki-san to sing with her, too.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Hinata says.

Komaeda watches the others with a resigned look of fondness in his eyes. _It’s wonderful seeing everyone getting along._ “That’s good. They’re good for each other… If that isn’t too presumptuous of me to say,” he says slowly. Hinata blinks.

“What do you mean?” he inquires.

Komaeda gives him a bizarre look. “Hinata-kun, don’t tell me you…” He cuts himself off, crinkling his eyebrows in amusement. For all the places where Hinata excelled, for all of the abilities granted to him from his fusion with Kamukura, he was still… well, dense, for lack of a better word. It was endearing.

“I haven’t what?” Hinata demands.

“It’s nothing, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda says with a chuckle, shaking his head. “You’re hopeless.”

“What?!”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

Hinata’s eyes widen momentarily, and an expression of realization dawns on his face. “Oh.” The word is short, and abrupt. He looks as if he’s about to speak again, then closes his mouth. For someone who Komaeda always perceived as good at keeping it together, he’s giving quite an extraordinary face journey.

“Do you want to go and talk to them?” Komaeda offers, shifting the subject. “Other than just spending the night with me.”

“It’s fine.” Hinata shrugs. “I’m sure that Mioda’ll come talk to me at some point. I’ll take my chances and just hang back for now.” He gives Komaeda a kind of tired smile.

“I’ll do my best to entertain you,” Komaeda pledges.

The embarrassment at Komaeda’s sincerity that flickers across Hinata’s face is nothing short of cute, Komaeda thinks in the back of his head. The space between his eyes is pinched, like he’s focusing hard on something.

Being alone with Hinata is a bit of an odd feeling, for Komaeda. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand why he felt strange, since he was painfully aware of the reason, but it was unpleasant nonetheless. Some type of constricted ball of nerves sits in the pit of his stomach, making him feel anxious and tense, no matter how hard he tried to relax. It was a ball that threatened to unfurl at any moment, and when it did, all of the feelings he had adapted to keep deep inside of him would spill out at the seams.

He didn’t want to bother Hinata with romance. He doesn’t want to ruin the relationship they’ve managed to build, because in spite of everything, Hinata _forgave_ him, Hinata _listened_ to him, and to have the audacity to taint it with his selfish desires would be--

“Are you okay?” It’s Hinata that cuts through his spiraling thoughts.

“Of course.”

“Speak now… Or forever hold your peace,” Hinata says hesitantly.

“Oh, are we getting married now?” Komaeda raises his eyebrows innocently to circumvent the rush of anxiety that has monopolized his stomach.

Yes, if he can play these feelings off as a simple joke, undermine the way his weak heart is thrumming in his chest, that should be fine. Joshing around, simple flirting… It was easy. It was an outlet.

“Th-that’s not what I meant,” Hinata objects quickly. _Not what he meant._

“It’s a joke, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata says nothing, but shakes his head and tips it back.

After a few minutes of quiet banter between them, punctuated by poppy music coming from a speaker that Mioda has hooked up, Souda approaches them. His attire has been… slightly changed, over the course of the night. His jumpsuit is unzipped, arms tied around his waist and resting comfortably on his hips, exposing a white tank top. Up and down his arms, even around his neck, there’s glowsticks.

“You look nice,” Komaeda comments, looking him up and down. Souda thrusts a handful of glowsticks, gleaming bright pinks, blues, and yellows, casting colourful, soft light onto the man’s skin. He snorts.

“Thanks,” he says drily. “I’m under direct orders from Mioda to deliver these. Come on, birthday boy.” He tosses a few of the sticks onto Hinata’s lap. “‘S none of my business if you want to hang out with this guy for all of eternity, but come rescue your soul bro!” There’s a familiar, pleading look in his eyes.

Hinata looks down at the glowsticks, and Souda throws the rest to Komaeda. “Let’s get fucking glowy.” The pink-haired man ruffles Hinata’s hair affectionately.

“Ugh,” Hinata grunts. Komaeda pulls a glowstick bracelet onto his wrist, twisting his hand around as it falls down his arm. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Hinata do the same, reluctance hindering his movements. Before them, Souda awkwardly shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“Let’s roll,” he states. Hinata stands from his chair and stretches his arms above his head. Tentatively, Komaeda follows, and Souda leads them over to where Mioda, among others, are standing. As soon as they approach, Mioda excitedly hops over to Hinata and grabs his face, pinching his cheeks.

“Hey--!”

“Aw, Hajime-chan and Nagito-chan look so cute with their matching glowsticks!” she cooes happily, smiling as her eyes flutter shut. She lets Hinata go, and he _tch_ s distastefully, rubbing where his face had been pulled. Mioda turns to Komaeda and cups his face. Her hands are warm, he notices. “So adorable!” she squeals.

“You’re making me blush,” Komaeda says, mouth quirked in a small smile. He can almost see the electricity sparking off of her in the half-light.

“Don’t they look sweet, Mikan-chan?” Mioda grabs the other’s arm and pulls her closer. “Goals,” she whispers.

“Y-you two look very nice,” Tsumiki agrees.

“So, she got you, too, eh?” Kuzuryuu eyes them up and down. The sour expression on his face and the tightness of his crossed arms is greatly juxtaposed by the glowstick crown resting on his head and the loop around his neck.

“Is it that obvious?” Hinata deadpans, flicking up his wrists. Kuzuryuu snorts.

“What can I say, the matchy-matchy stuff fits you two,” he jests. He looks from Hinata, to Komaeda, and back to Hinata again. For the moment where Komaeda and Kuzuryuu’s gazes lock, Komaeda sees some sort of understanding in his blonde eyes, and he arches an eyebrow.

“Are you and Souda matching, too?” Hinata retorts, pointing at his neck. It wipes the smirk off of Kuzuryuu’s face.

“Completely unintentionally!” Souda jumps in.

Pekoyama sighs, shaking her head. She has glowsticks woven into her braids, sticking out below her hair elastics. “Sometimes I feel like a babysitter to these two,” she admits, but when she looks at Komaeda, he sees the traces of a smile on her lips. _How wonderful._

“I get what you mean,” Komaeda replies quietly. Kuzuryuu still stares daggers at Hinata, freckled face painted a delicate shade of red.

“Hinata, piss off,” he exhales.

“Can’t handle the truth?”

“I hear no truth.”

“Can the both of you stop bickering like children?” Koizumi, who is wearing a tie made of glowsticks, interjects irritatedly. “Especially you, Hinata. You’re almost 24, aren’t you?”

“Just because he’s the oldest doesn’t mean he’s the most mature,” Komaeda puts in. Hinata whirls around to face him, and the stark betrayal present in his expression is enough to make Komaeda’s heart skip a beat.

“Komaeda, why are you on their side?” The subtle whiny lilt in his voice is amusing. Komaeda raises his hands, as if in surrender.

“Sorry, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata rolls his eyes and throws his arms up, like he’s truly exasperated. It’s a hard thing to look like when one is lit up with _glowsticks._

“This is more than I bargained for.”

-

Komaeda is finding it hard to breathe.

He had managed to keep it _relatively_ together all night, but now, with some fifteen or so minutes left until midnight, he feels as if he’s at his breaking point. The tension in his body can’t be healthy, but he can’t help it.

Hinata is _right there_. Pressed against his shoulder, even though they’re leaning against a wall. It appears some form of tiredness is marring his judgement, because he’s slightly nodding off, and his head is coming dangerously close to resting on Komaeda’s shoulder. He’s not exactly sure what’s got Hinata so out of it-- it’s not like it’s particularly late, but he supposes that it could simply be the events of the year taking their toll on him.

Either way, Komaeda feels like he can’t move, lest he risks startling Hinata.

And he enjoys having him so close.

The thought is embarrassing, but he’s uncomfortably aware of the warmth on the right side of his body, so it has monopolized his thoughts. He’s hugging his own gut as tightly as he can, trying to focus on anything except the faint scent of cinnamon that’s drifting up from Hinata. His stomach clenches.

“Um, hey, Ibuki has something to say!” Mioda speaks into a microphone she’s hooked up to an amp. The sound of her voice reverberates through the room, and Komaeda feels Hinata shift and lift his head. The sudden loss of warmth almost makes him shiver.

Komaeda looks at Hinata, who returns the glance with a bleary, wide-eyed expression. He rubs at his face and blinks. “Mmf-- Was I asleep?” he mumbles. Komaeda’s face heats up at the tired tone slurring his voice.

“Only a little,” he replies.

Hinata gives him a bizarre look that he can’t quite define and straightens his posture, pressing his back into the wall.

“So, Ibuki wanted to throw this fun party so we could all forget about our worries, but, like, she doesn’t want us to forget what happened.” There’s a lampshade adorning Mioda’s head, and it tilts from side to side as she tosses her neck back and forth. “So she wanted to ask if anyone had any final thoughts before we leave the year behind.” She twiddles her thumbs in an uncharacteristically timid way.

“Well, I’d like to say I’m very proud of how far we’ve come.” Sonia commands the attention of the room as she steps forward, holding her arms out. “After all we’ve been through… After all we’ve put others through…” Her eyes shine with the beginning of tears. “We’re all able to stand here, together. And I’m ever so grateful for the opportunity to be here alongside all of you.” She gently wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry, it is unbecoming of me to cry.”

“N-no, Sonia-san, it’s fine.” Souda jumps in quickly after her. “U-uh… Sonia-san’s already put it really well, but I guess I’m also really happy I’m here. It’d just piss me off if all this bullshit happened and we couldn’t do anything about it.” A toothy grin crosses his face. “But I was tired of standing by.”

“Ditto,” Kuzuryuu continues. “If there’s something we can do to atone, I hope this is it.” He looks up at Pekoyama, and he smiles.

“I learned a lot from being around you guys,” Owari speaks up. “It’s like… When I was a kid, I was always fightin’ against the world, you get me? Now it feels like I’m fightin’ for it. That feels good.” She clenches a fist, eyes narrowed with conviction.

“What about you, Hajime-chan? You’re kind of like, our cool leader. Ah, other than Ryota-chan.” Mioda turns to Hinata, and Komaeda feels his skin prickle with heat as all of the eyes in the room focus in on the two of them.

Determination takes the place of sleepiness in Hinata’s gaze. “Everyone else kind of said it, but…” He surveys the room. “We’re going to finish what we started, and we’re going to do that together.” The air of finality around his words is enough to send a chill down Komaeda’s spine.

Tsumiki shifts where she’s standing, staring down at her feet. Mioda grabs her shoulder. “Do you have something to say, Mikan-chan?”

“U-uh… No, it’s alright,” she says, shaking her head. Mioda fixes her with a hard gaze.

“Tell us,” she insists, giving her an encouraging smile.

“W-well, I was just wondering… If, um, if Nanami-san would be p-proud of us.” As she nears the end of her sentence, she gets quieter, and by the time she’s done speaking, her voice is barely a whisper.

After her words, a silence blankets the room. Tsumiki’s eyes go wide with regret. “I-I’m sorry, I sh-shouldn’t--” she blurts.

“It’s alright, Tsumiki,” Hinata interrupts her, holding out a hand. Mioda’s grip on Tsumiki strengthens as Hinata gives the room a gentle smile, one without pain. “She would be proud, I think. She’d be happy that we’re all getting along, and moving on.” His left hand brushes Komaeda’s right, sending a jolt of electricity through his fingers. “She was always so forward-thinking.”

Komaeda looks at him, expecting to see sorrow twisting his face. But there’s nothing of the sort, and instead, there’s gratefulness clear as day in his eyes. _Hinata-kun…_ Part of him wants to comfort the brunette, but the other figures that he has no right to speak on the topic. So he settles for biting his lip with more force than was perhaps necessary.

“Ibuki thinks that if Chiaki-chan is watching over us, she will be so excited to see how far we’ve come. She’s probably jumping up and down with joy!” Mioda sings.

“Did we meet the same person?” Hinata asks confusedly. And with that, the tension is dispelled.

“You’re good at this hopeful speech thing,” Komaeda murmurs in a low voice.

Hinata tips his head. “You think so?”

“Hey! Can you two stop whispering sweet nothings?! We’re not done!” Mioda hollars. Komaeda’s heart leaps into his throat and he looks away from Hinata, and he assumes the other man does the same. _Mioda-san, I feel like you’re doing this on purpose,_ he thinks mutinously. “As Ibuki was saying, she and all of you have a whole bright shining future ahead of them! One that we’ll face together!”

“Yes!” Nidai interjects. “If all of us go full speed into the new year, there’s no way we’ll fail!”

“You said it, old man,” Owari says between bites of food.

_A bright, shining future, huh?_ Komaeda manages to put aside his nervous tension and looks at Hinata.

“I guess there are worse people to undo the destruction of humanity with,” Saionji sniffs.

Pekoyama dips her head. “It is an honour.”

“It is,” Hanamura chuckles.

“It could’ve been better, but it could’ve been a Hell of a lot worse,” Koizumi points out.

“In one of my old costumes, I may have said ‘ _working with you cretins has been a thorn in my side,_ ’ but as myself, I’d like to say that it’s been my pleasure,” Mitarai says in a satisfied tone of voice. “To the new year.” He raises his glass in the air.

“To the new year!”

“Kehehe,” Tanaka chuckles darkly as the voices die down. “I never would have thought I would meet such odd, enigmatic creatures such as the lot of you all. I look forward to seeing how you flaunt your powers, come the next turn of the Earth.”

“Geez, man, can’t ya say something normal like ‘I can’t wait to keep working with you guys’?” Souda complains. Kuzuryuu hits him in the side.

“Let it lie, Souda. He’s sayin’ he likes us,” he hisses.

Komaeda is alright with just lying back in his complacence and watching everyone else’s rapport, but Hinata nudges his shoulder. “Aren’t you going to say something?” he asks. “To get everyone’s spirits up,” he clarifies.

“I don’t think it’s my place,” Komaeda informs him lightly.

“Bullshit. It’s all our places.”

“It’s alright, Hinata-kun.”

“Since when were you so reserved when it came to speaking your mind?”

“Ah…” Komaeda wants to say something, but he’s not sure what exactly it is. “Perhaps I’ve mellowed in my old age.”

Hinata lets out a snort of laughter.

“If you must know, Hinata-kun… I’m much like the others. I’m looking forward to putting an end to this wretched despair. Fighting alongside the symbols of hope, and you,” Komaeda tells him honestly, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’m ready to bring hope to this world, no matter what.”

“...I see,” Hinata murmurs after a moment. “Well, we’ve still got work to do.”

“How could I forget?” Komaeda sighs. “We have the support of our friends. Thank you, Hinata-kun, for being there for me, through all my hopelessness. Thank you for listening to what I have to say,” he adds, Is he laying it on too thick? Perhaps. If the buzz in his chest is anything to go off, certainly. But he has to let Hinata know how grateful he is.

“Eh…?” Hinata’s face scrunches up. “That’s no problem. Seriously. And, uh, thanks to you, too.”

“Me, too…?” Komaeda’s eyes light up with surprise. Hinata shrugs nonchalantly.

“No matter how you look at it, this year hasn’t been easy. And the people we’re around aren’t the easiest, either.” Hinata looks out over the sea of people. He then side-eyes Komaeda. “Including you. But, you’ve managed to be… A constant, I guess. Always by my side.”

“Oh.” Komaeda’s eyes fall to the floor, and he feels the nerves in his stomach flutter. “I’m honoured, Hinata-kun.”

“Yeah.”

They chatter amicably between themselves, occasionally humouring Souda or Mioda. Komaeda feels tension between them, more so than before, and he hates it. He feels as though Hinata has a ring of flame around him, and if Komaeda tried to touch him, he’d be burned. And unfortunately for the two of them, he’s a sucker for punishment.

So, he’s beside himself for the rest of the night.

And eventually…

“Hey, everyone! It’s almost midnight!” It’s Koizumi, holding up a pocket watch. Mioda hops over to her side, peering at the time.

“Eep! Ibuki is so excited!” she exclaims. “New year, new us! Right?!”

“Definitely!” Owari punches the palm of her hand with her fist.

“Hehe… You know, if you don’t kiss the first person you lock eyes with at midnight, then you’ll be cursed with loneliness for the rest of the new year,” Saionji puts in. “My condolences, Big Bro Souda.”

“Hey!”

“Sh! Everyone, shut up!” Mioda chides them, waving her hands. “It’s gotta be extra quiet! Then everyone is gonna count down from a minute, together! Ibuki will lead you, okay?”

A hush falls over the room, and save for the quiet rustling of people shifting around, it’s silent in the room. Mioda is mouthing numbers as she watches the time tick down.

“Okay, everyone! 60!” She gestures wildly to everyone in the room. “59!”

Everyone starts to count down together.

“58!”

“57!”

There’s a happy, electric aura in the air. The world outside is dark, a peaceful nighttime that has fallen over their island, their _home_. Inside, though, their hearts are lighter than they had been, surrounded by the warm glow of fairy lights and paper lamps and _each other_. The room is charged with what Komaeda can only describe as positive energy.

_They’re... all so strong._

“This is when it gets good, guys!” Mioda takes a breath and pumps her fist in the air.

“10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!”

“6!”

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

“Happy New Year!” Mioda’s exclamation beats out all of theirs, and her voice bounces off the walls of the room. Komaeda is pretty sure he notices the lamps on the wall shudder.

Everyone watches as Mioda takes Tsumiki’s hands and dips her into a kiss. The purple-haired girl’s eyes fly open as their lips connect.

There’s a resounding chorus of “aw”s through the room. Saionji pantomimes throwing up, pressing a hand to her mouth. “Get a room, you two,” she says with mock disgust. At least, Komaeda assumes it’s mock.

Mioda pops back up, her face flushed bright red. Her hand hasn’t left Tsumiki’s, and her grin is wide, all of her teeth showing. Tsumiki looks like she’s trying to get the ground to open up and swallow her, but even in the bewilderment, embarrassment, and bashfulness that’s clear on her face, Komaeda can’t detect displeasure. He raises his eyebrows at Hinata.

“I see what you mean now,” Hinata says quietly.

“Come on, you guys! Do you really wanna be lonely for all of this year?!” Mioda asks forcefully, in a loud voice.

Komaeda stifles a giggle. He watches Tanaka gingerly take Sonia’s hand and press his lips to the back of it, his face cherry red and obscured by his scarf. Saionji stands on her tiptoes and kisses Koizumi’s cheek gracefully, though she looks mildly reluctant.

Meanwhile, Kuzuryuu looks like he would rather be anywhere else, standing uncomfortably next to Souda and Pekoyama, his gaze glued to the hardwood floors. Luckily for him, Mioda is spinning around in a daze, hugging everyone.

“How nice,” Komaeda murmurs. He looks at Hinata, who is staring at him with an inscrutable expression. Something about it, though, plunges Komaeda into a metaphorical dark, icy lake. “Um…?” He can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. _You could just lean forward and kiss him_ , a small voice in his head nags. And God, does he want to. He wants to _so bad._ And it would be the perfect excuse, Saionji said the first person you locked eyes with, didn’t she…? He could feel Hinata’s lips on his, and it wouldn’t ruin anything, right…?

“E-er.” Hinata clears his throat. “I’m gonna do a thing.” He says the words as a single breath, not allowing Komaeda to even begin to process them.

“Eh?” He lets out a squeak of surprise before Hinata presses a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. And in that short moment, that small fragment of time, the world around him seems to dim. He’s not conscious of anything or anyone except for Hinata, who has lightly pressed the weight of his body into Komaeda.

This was it. This was what he had, shamefully, dreamed of many a night before. His face is surely dark with blush, if the heat of his cheeks is anything to go off of. The warmth of Hinata’s lips is something that makes an aching, longing sensation flare to life in the depths of his heart, making him want to grab Hinata’s face, wrap his arms around him and never let go. Never let go of this warmth from their lips being pressed together, and this feeling of _wholeness_ that has begun to spread through his whole body. It’s an irrational feeling, he realizes dimly, but one that he can’t help experiencing.

The scent of cinnamon is intoxicating.

But it’s just a kiss. And it ends as Hinata slowly draws back and looks at Komaeda with anxiety in his hazel eyes. _He’s frightened._ Komaeda doesn’t trust himself to speak, and the expression that Hinata is making is enough to shoot down any words he could’ve tried to form.

His lips tingle from where Hinata had kissed him. _Kissed him_. He had kissed him!

He feels near faint, like his heart may burst out of his chest. He wants this. More than he should.

“Komaeda…” Hinata’s eyes widen, and his face is painted an adorable shade of red.

After finding his voice, Komaeda replies as calmly as he can. “Happy birthday,” he half-whispers. “First day of the new year… Hajime.” He says the man’s name slowly, almost like he’s savouring its time on his tongue. “How fitting.”

“H-hey…” Hinata blinks at him. “Are you gonna say something?”

“What do you want me to say?” Komaeda replies, feigning innocence, and acting like he doesn’t feel like he’s about to slip into cardiac arrest. Hinata looks at him with a pinched, panicked expression. “I’m kidding, Hinata-kun.”

“Hajime.” He nervously rubs his arm. “Call me Hajime. Um, if you want to.”

Komaeda’s throat tightens at the request. When he imagined situations like this, it was just that-- his imagination. His thoughts were his and his alone, his to play with and get lost in. He never had to tell Hinata about them, so in a sense, they were safe. Now he feels like he’s been laid bare for the world to see.

But even so, the warmth bursting from his chest overrides that.

“Hajime-kun.”

Hinata smiles at him-- it’s a tentative, almost shy smile. “Okay. Cool.” It seems to Komaeda that when the other gets nervous, he gets even choppier and more blunt. “Nagito.”

Komaeda exhales, and it’s like a bundle of nerves has unfurled in his gut. He can’t fight off the grin that crosses his face, and he doesn’t particularly want to. His heart flutters like a bird trapped in a cage, and he feels Hinata take his hand and hold it in his own. He feels almost out of it, giddiness having seized him.

This was a feeling he never wanted to let go, until his body takes its final breath.

“Ibuki doesn’t want to interrupt, buuuut--” Their gazes break as Mioda pops up in front of the pair. “She’s so happy!” she squeals, then wraps the both of them in a large embrace. Her arms envelop the men with a stronger grip than Komaeda expected. “Come on, group hug!” she chirps.

Komaeda and Hinata’s gazes meet over Mioda’s head. They wrap their own arms around her and each other, and Komaeda notices that Hinata is holding him tightly, as well. It’s something that, for lack of a better word, makes him feel special. Meaningful.

Mioda lets them go, and there are tears in her eyes. “They grow up so fast,” she sobs, wiping her cheeks.

“Mioda-san, are you alright?” Alarm laces Komaeda’s voice. Mioda nods her head fervently.

“I’m happy! And bittersweet! And excited! I’m a lot of things!” she says between cries. Tsumiki comes up behind her and rests her hands on her shoulders comfortingly, giving both Hinata and Komaeda a reserved, but contented nonetheless, smile.

“C-congratulations, you two,” she says softly.

“Likewise,” Komaeda replies. Hinata bobs his head.

“I-I’ll leave you alone, th-then.” She starts to steer Mioda away as the woman struggles with the tears running down her face. Komaeda faces Hinata when she’s gone, and he gingerly holds out his hand. In the past few minutes, he’s come quite acclimatized to the man’s warmth. He almost feels like crying as well, though it’s something he fights back. Right now, he just wants to relish in the ache in his cheeks from smiling.

Hinata takes his head, and presses a second, soft kiss to the side of his face.

And there they were, moving into the future, hand and hand.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> kick is still alive and it stands for komahina is canon king  
> thanks for reading, i hope it was enjoyable! if you would like to join the church of tsumioda we're always taking members  
> feel free to follow my dr tumblr @sai-haras for Hot Takes on your favourite teenage murderers  
> fun fact, i think the last time i wrote a first kiss in a dr fanfic was for my saimatsu one, and surprise surprise i have not gotten anymore experience since then. i'm flying by the seat of my pants!  
> i have a science paper to write happy 1981


End file.
